Social media giant Guy Kawasaki has some great advice when it comes to networking — schmoozing, as he calls it — and it’s something any networking newbie or veteran should pay attention to.
He makes some great points, but there were two that really stuck out for me. As I thought back to my years of networking, I realized that while I may have met a lot of people, I don’t remember most of them because they violated one or both of these two points.
Ask good questions, then shut up.
Kawasaki says, “the mark of a good conversationalist is not that you can talk a lot. The mark is that you can get others to talk a lot.” Or, if you want to trot out the old communication cliché (and I do so reluctantly), “God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason. Talk half as much as you listen.”
In other words, don’t talk so much. Ask a question or two to get the other person to talk about themselves. Show them that you’re interested in them, rather than just sharing everything you know, and not leaving the other person any time to tell you about themselves.
Of course, you run into a real problem if the other person is also practicing this rule, so make sure you share the time equally.
If you listen more than you talk, you’ll actually be remembered as a good conversationalist and an interesting person.
Unveil your passions.
“Only talking about business is boring,” says Kawasaki. I have to agree. I want to get to know a person because of what drives them, what makes them get up in the morning, not strictly what they do from 8 to 5. This is hard, because so many of us define ourselves by what we do, rather than who we are. So I try to get people to talk about themselves, not their work.
In my networking efforts, I’ve met a lot of insurance brokers and financial professionals. And frankly, if you hear one whole life insurance sales pitch, you’ve heard them all. But rather than brushing off these people, I asked them questions about their passions. I got to know them as people, and as a result, I stopped seeing them as insurance brokers and financial professionals. As a result, I was able to make some referrals, because I knew and trusted them as people, not as someone out to just get the next sale.
Just remember, as you go out networking, whether it’s At The Top or another business networking event, try to connect with people as people, not just the face behind their business card. Your own life will be the richer for it.
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