The next time you’re at a networking event, watch The Dance.
If you pay careful attention, you’ll see it. It’s like everyone there is involved in a little scientific dance with each other, a pattern of social interaction that looks as much like a minuet as an example of how cells divide and multiply. It actually reminds me of the Andy Summers’ “Love Is The Strangest Way” video from 1987.
Two people — let’s say me and Ron Sukenick — are talking together (this is called a dyad in communication circles). A third person, Karen, comes and joins us, making us a triad. Ron, being the helpful, outgoing person he is, begins talking to Karen, and I just stand and listen. Soon, a fourth person, Simone, comes and joins us (which, in scientific terms is a tetrad; in communication circles, it’s called a group). Since I’ve been left out, I start talking to Simone.
Now, for whatever reason, this “cell” of four people will soon split off into two new cells (or dyads): me and Simone, and Ron and Karen. It can be a need for privacy, the normal shuffling of people when they talk, or simple nonverbal behaviors, but we will actually separate a bit from the other pair. So rather than a group of four, we’re two separate cells again.
And then it starts all over again. David will join me and Simone, while Megan will join Karen and Ron. Then, a fourth will join, and the two cells will split again, and on and on.
Now, rather than adding more and more people to the room, some of the people who split off will instead go off and find a new dyad to join. This is how the process keeps going. Cells keep growing into tetrads, split, and reform.
This can be both a good and bad thing when you’re at a networking event, like At The Top. It’s good, because you get to meet new people, and it’s a great way to get introduced to someone you’d like to meet. It can be bad, on the other hand, because just when you’re getting into the groove with that new person, someone comes along and interrupts.
This is why it’s important for you to make a deeper connection outside of the event. Before you get too separated from the person you were talking to, ask them for a business card and then follow up with them immediately to set up a lunch or coffee meeting.
Be sure to check out:
